You can't change the past....

...and it's a damn shame that we can't predict the future.  So what does that leave us with?  For me, it leaves me with the hope that past trials and challenges have given me the tools to face whatever lies ahead. 

After the big scary total was added up last night Nick and I began a familiar conversation which always starts with, "But where did it all come from?  Really?  Where?!?!"  The fact is that there isn't one single answer to that.  It came from big things (a hot tub, a 60" LCD tv, a house we couldn't really afford), it came from little things (magazines, impulse purchases at the check out, Starbucks), and it came from overbuying (too many clothes, too many books, too many toys, too many kitchen gadgets, too many groceries.)

The good news is - we don't spend like that any more.  The bad news is - we still have to pay it all back.  It's hard sometimes to look back to the people we were in the past.  While I was on maternity leave with Tristan I used to go to Starbucks daily (sometimes twice a day).  I would meet friends at the mall to wander around and inevitably I would drop $50 a time on things we didn't need.  I would take Tristan to indoor playgrounds that would cost us $15 by the time we paid for the entrance fee and snacks.

Now our days are more likely to be spent packing our own snacks and heading to the park, or making home made play dough and playing on the deck.  And honestly, I prefer it.  I don't spend my days waiting in lines at the mall, or driving in traffic to get somewhere.  If only I knew then but I know now.  But I guess that's the secret to life, you learn as you go.

"Courage is the quality it takes to look at yourself with candor, your

adversaries with kindness, and your setbacks with serenity"