While I could make myself miserable over this, I'm not going to. We spent the money, we used the credit, now we've got to do the time. It makes me more resolute in my resolve to get out of this mess though. No more sneaking in magazines to the grocery cart, giving into the temptation to buy convenience foods, or purchase clothing or toys we don't need. Those are not the things that matter to me.
If I look at what I really value it is time with my friends and family, the ability to have guests over, getting out into nature, and travelling. Sadly I think early in our marriage Nick and I didn't really have the time and money to do what we really loved doing (travel), so we tried to fill that void with stuff. You don't even realize you're doing it until it's too late, and no matter how much stuff you have that void just gets bigger and bigger.
I have some pretty big dreams for my family - I want to go back to school to become a midwife, I want Nick to have the freedom to quit his job and find what he is passionate about, I want to be able to take my children on vacations and visit our family in England (whom we haven't seen in 6 years!). Most of all, I just want freedom from these chains of debt that are holding us down.
I'm moving forward with a new resolve. The debt is temporary, but the changes we make to our lifestyle now are going to have a lasting impact for years to come. There is no going back, only forward.
As Dave Ramsey says, "If you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else."
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I could have written this myself. Had we made better decisions the first 10 years of our marriage, we would have plenty of extra money now for saving and travel. Instead, we are sending a huge portion of our income to debt repayment. I feel that we have a handle on it now though and we are going to get rid of the debt and have the life we want. I think coming to the realization that things have to change is a huge step!
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