Creating Rhythm

I have been reading a fantastic book lately called, "Simplicity Parenting" by Kim John Payne.  It is about "Using the extraordinary power of less to create calmer, happier and more secure kids".  One chapter that I am finding the most challenging (and the most rewarding) is the concept of rhythm.

“Meaning hides in repetition:  We do this every day or every week because it matters.  We are connected by this thing we do together.  We matter to one another.  In the tapestry of childhood, what stands out is not the splashy, blow-out trip to Disneyland but the common threads that run throughout and repeat:  the family dinners, nature walks, reading together at bedtime, Saturday morning pancakes.” – Kim John Payne"

 The challenging part of creating rhythm is that it takes time, consistency and patience.  There is also a good deal of trial and error to see what works for our family, and what doesn't.  I will say this -  it is definitely worth the effort.  I used to be very stuck on schedules, but scheduling and rhythm are not one and the same.  Rhythm says that "this is what we do before we go to bed" it does not say "Bedtime is 7pm every night".  We certainly strive for consistency in sleep times, meal times, etc but that is not always possible, and it's very easy with three children to be thrown off a schedule and become frustrated and feel rushed.

In the past when we would start to feel like we had fallen behind on our schedule, routines would fall by the wayside.  Late to bed?  No bath and bed tonight!  Running late for an appointment?  Rush around like a mad man , throw on coats, yell for cooperation, and likely forget things along the way.  But rhythm isn't concerned with time, rhythm creates a comforting flow of activities so that live is more predictable, calm, and manageable.

The wonderful thing about rhythm is that it doesn't just create more calm for the kids, it is definitely helping me as well.  I am looking on establishing more routines in our home and am interested to see the effect it will have on our minds, and our finances.

Feeling Stuck

Nick came to me this weekend, looking rather down and defeated, with a rather familiar lament about feeling stuck.  I wrote about our housing dilemma back in August, and it's still an ongoing concern.  It's easy to say, "You have a beautiful home, just be happy."  But what if you're not?  We have tried to sell without luck, we have had drama with our neighbours that seems to be getting worse before it gets better, and we are living a fair distance away from the city where Nick works.  It's not an ideal situation, and despite trying to make the best of it, it's starting to get the better of us.

I'm trying to do less complaining and more coming up with solutions, so I thought about it.  I weighed options, considered our choices, and then presented what I thought was the best solution to Nick, and he seems to agree.  After the kids are done school for the summer, we are going to rent out our home.  We are not going to make any money off of the rental, in fact we may end up subsidising it a bit.  It will, however, give us the opportunity to move on, and right now that is worth it's weight in gold.

We considering various options afterwards.  We may try living with my mother-in-law for a bit so we are able to stash away some money for rainy days, or we may just start renting in the city right away.  We will find somewhere that is cheaper than what we currently pay on housing and save the rest.  What is important is that we have both a mental and a physical fresh start.

All of the financial responsibility in the world doesn't really matter in the long run if you're ultimately miserable and feeling hopeless.  After our talk I could see a weight lifted off Nick's shoulders, and now we're (cautiously) excited about the prospect.  It's good to have decided this a few months in advance so we can get all of our ducks in a row and be aware of all the pitfalls we may encounter.  And now I have even more motivation on my decluttering path!

Decluttering update!

I'm on a roll now!  Instead of adding a storage cupboard, I eliminated two!  Plus I have more than entire van load to go the Salvation Army.  My kids even got in on the action and got two garbage bags of toys out of their play area.  Already the cleaning is becoming easier around here with less stuff.  This is addictive!

Before:

After:

Before:

After:

Before:

 After:

Before:

 After:

Before:

 After:

Before:

 After:

Before:

 After:

Before:

 After:

It feels so good to be making process and moving towards our goal of a more simple lifestyle.  We will never be minimalists to the point of owning only 100 things each, but my goal is that we will get to the point where we don't save things "just in case" and everything in our home is useful, used, and loved.